Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize