She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
