I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
