Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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