Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
