It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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