i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
