Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
