You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
