just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
