I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
