Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
