She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
