So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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