i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
