I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
