In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize