Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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