Kiss
Puke
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
