Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
