maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
