i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
