Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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