i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
