And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
