Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
