Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize