yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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