Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
