It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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