That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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