my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Randomize
