in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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