Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
this boner is exhausting
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
