I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
