On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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