My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
