i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
