My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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