I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
the liver wants what the liver wants
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
