What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
