I think I died a long time ago.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
