...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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