Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
