hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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