Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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