Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
