yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize