oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
