he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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