BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
