if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
