Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
