She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
