Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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