Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
