Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
