Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
