Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
