Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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